Friday, June 3, 2011

Square One. Again.

I am both pissed and yes, mentally defeated as I peck out this post.

I have done some serious soul-searching the past couple of weeks. I have not figured out anything profound, or anything that I have not already said/thought/typed before... but I am feeling like I have to do something.

I am tired of starting things and not finishing them. This blog has turned into concrete, documented failures in the world that is Christina.

So, what's been on my mind lately?

NEWS FLASH!!! To begin with, I have tried to just enjoy the first few days of what has actually *felt* like summer! I went to the pool last weekend with some friends and it was FABULOUS. I put on my big-girl-tankini, slapped on some SPF, put on my stunner shades and rocked it out with the best of them! The fat-girl-mentality really tried to damper my fun, but I fought hard to push it out of my mind and have FUN.  Success!

On the other hand, I have been eating very poorly. It has been a full-on free-for-all for at least two weeks now. All I have to show for it is about 5 more pounds of flab, indigestion, more feelings of emotional failure and some serious (Serious.) knee pain. FAIL.

I have laid out my feelings about low-carb/no sugar vs. weight watchers before in this post and this post. I am wondering if I should do weight watchers (for the portion control, real-life eating, etc.) but watch my sugars/bad carbs etc.

A few facts:

I have done both "diets". They both work for me.
I was more successful on WW, but I had to count every little thing.
(The controlling part of me likes that though...)

NS/LC makes me go without most of my beloved fruits.
I. Love. Fruit. (and the occasional Potato. Pasta. Bread.)

After a week on NS/LC I find myself eating too many calories worth of pork rinds (low carb!), cheese (low carb!), sour cream (low carb!) etc. with no regard to portion control. My mentality ends up being "hey, no sugar/no carbs... eat! eat! eat!"
It. Adds. Up.

NS/LC gives me instant "feel good/energy" results. Knee pain - gone quickly.
One slip up, start eating some carbs and it is back.
WW takes longer. After about 50 pounds the knees feel better.

NS/LC = periods!
WW = very rarely...

See why I am INSANE!?

The past couple of weeks I have been mulling all of this over (and then some) and have come to the conclusion that I have to DO SOMETHING. While I have been having this small pity party, I have gained more weight and my body is in even worse shape, and my knees are KILLING me.

Looking back, the 2 years I did weight watchers, were the happier times in my life. (Even if I did carry my scale with me on trips and vacations so I would not miss a weigh-in!!) The no-sugar-at-all-'high' is great for a while, but it eventually wears off and I fall-off the NS/LC wagon and end up back to where I am right now. I feel like I get major benefits from NS/LC and even watching the gluten...hence the question of doing a combination of those eating-styles.

Please pray for me. I have started praying about this too. Lately I have really felt like WW-Online is calling me back.

1 comment:

  1. I found the restriction of LC eventually led to overeating and some other real dietary issues for me. I believe in its principles, and have applied them to eating lowER carb.

    Anyhoo, that's just me. I found a south- beachy style plan (ignoring the low- fat mantra and counting calories) has been helpful.