Thursday, January 26, 2012

Snacky Snack

This was my afternoon snack...Just pure snacking heaven. :)

Definitely NOT an anti-food.

Taken with a new camera app I put on my phone...called MyTubo. You can choose a cool effect for your pics that really makes them vibrant and awesome. (chosen effect - "XPro"... I love it and the "Lomo", "80s", and "Holga" the best. ) Not endorsing...I just love it. Go try it! In fact, here's the QR code if you have the barcode scanner...

Pizza Elaboration

I wanted to elaborate more on the slice of pizza I mentioned in this post. I assure you, I will always be honest with my blogging and this post has been nagging at me to be written.

This was not just any slice of pizza. This was a slice of pizza that had the potential to ruin my hard work and make me slide down that slippery slope that is my sugar/food addiction.

Here is what happened:

One of our friends came over to celebrate an extremely late Christmas. He had gotten B a little something and wanted her to open her gift. We decided to "just order a pizza" for dinner. I convinced myself that I was okay with that.

I surprised myself by only eating ONE small slice of the pizza. I then sliced up an apple, and had it along with a Greek yogurt. Success!

15 minutes later... my stomach is churning. I am having sharp, double-you-over pains. Everyone else is fine. It is me. I end up being pretty miserable for most of the night.

Now, here is where the situation get's sticky and ridiculous if you ask me...

After a night of misery. I had the NERVE to step in the kitchen and grab one of the left-over slices of cold (oh-my-gosh-YUM!) pizza from the fridge. I *li-ter-a-lly* had the tip of it in my mouth...but I stopped. I put it back in the fridge and grabbed a string cheese instead.


The FAIL: I had convinced myself that even though I had been utterly miserable the night before, that it was *worth* it to have another piece of this pizza. WTF folks? How's that for sick in the head? I was WILLING to be PHYSICALLY sick and MENTALLY defeated for a crappy piece of cold pizza?

The WIN: After a major back-and-forth battle in my head. I won. The real me won. Honestly, I have NO idea how I managed to put down that piece of pizza, but I did. Part of it was knowing that I would indeed be miserable again. Part of it was me just not willing to let myself down over A CRAPPY PIECE OF PIZZA!. Part of it was also knowing that Scott knew there were 3 slices of pizza left... and knowing that if he knew I ate one, in spite of how we both knew I felt the night before, but still ate it...I just could not let him down either. Avoiding shame is a powerful thing.

In the end, all I can say is that I won a MAJOR battle in my continuous war.

I am more important that a piece of cold pizza.


"If you want to live a long, healthy, vibrant life, then you will have to eat life-giving foods." (The Eat-Clean Diet, Tosca Reno)

This excerpt from her book is worth taking a few minutes to read. Trust me.

(begin excerpt!)

Dead Food/Living Food
Processed, chemically charged, sugar-fortified, partially hydrogenated foods are more common than ever and it's easy to see why eating these pseudo-foods does nothing to improve the length and quality of your life. In fact, the effect is quite the opposite. Lately, such foods have been called "dead foods" or as I like to call them, anti-foods.

Foods that have had their natural nutrition removed and have then been subjected to refining, processing and further manufacturing lose whatever potential they originally possessed. Now throw in a few chemicals to increase shelf life and seduce the customer with added sugar, salt and hydrogenated fats (to make you think this stuff tastes good), and you are left with marginally beneficial anti-foods. These are dead foods. Agri-business spends a lot of money marketing such foods, and if you're like most North Americans, it's what you buy. It's fast, it's readily available, it's cheap and it's everywhere. If we don't think too much, that's what we feed our families and ourselves. It's a slippery slope once you begin to lean on such nutrient-devoid foods.

Eat Live Food
Contrast anti-foods with fresh, still-living produce. When you pick a fresh head of lettuce it is actually still alive, nutrients bursting through it's leaves. Most fresh produce is living. If you allow a potato to grow an eye and then plant it, a potato plant will grow. If you take the seeds from your tomato and put them in the soil, you could grow a tomato plant. If you throw peels and flesh in the compost, every last bit will be broken down to nourish the earth.

Try that with a Twinkie! The thing will still be sitting there, "good" as new, weeks later. Now imagine what happens when you put that Twinkie in your body. Your mouth and stomach do their job and break it down, but then what? When your body encounters a molecule of polysorbate 60, otherwise known as polyoxyethylene (20) sorbitan monostearate (a common ingredient in processed foods such as the Twinkie), what will it do with it? In what way will that molecule aid in the health and longevity of your cells?

Your body has no idea what to do with many of the chemicals common in foods today, but the body is pretty smart, so it has a storage mechanism planned to deal with the unexpected. When it can't figure out what to do with such molecules, it finds a fat cell in your body in which to store them. the more you eat anti-foods, the more fat you will have and that fat becomes a literal waste dump for the body's unrecognizable chemicals. No wonder your long-term health is affected so negatively.

When you eat Clean foods, your body breaks down and uses every single molecule. Every one! Each one of those molecules makes it to some place in your body where it does something for your health. Protein molecules go to building and repairing tissue. Healthy fat molecules assist with lubricating cells and keeping hair, skin and other organs healthy. Molecules from complex carbohydrates provide usable energy. Fiber cleans out your system. Water carries the nutrients through your body. Mom was right - you really are what you eat!

If you want to live a long, healthy, vibrant life, then you will have to eat life-giving foods. That means foods as close to their natural state as possible...Clean foods.

(end of excerpt!)

Pretty profound, huh? Yep.


A couple of readers have asked for an update. I am simply flattered!

I am still doing great!

I am eating like I should...(details below)

I am now exercising some on my new HUGE treadmill.

I still feeling amazing.

I am losing weight... though it is at a s....l......o..............w pace. I mean killer-slow. I am actually kinda okay with that right now since I just feel so dang good!

Have I eaten a few things I should not have? Yes, but I am proud to say "only" twice. Once was a single slice of pizza (that almost killed me...) and the other was a handful of reece's pieces (again, made me utterly miserable and did not even taste good to me). Did I let that knock me off the wagon? Nope. My wagon is happily going full speed in the right direction. Besides, did I mention that those anti-foods made me miserable?

Typically during the day I eat something like this:

2 slices bacon (Don't bother preachin' or hatin'...I know all about processed meats and the "bads" that go along with them. I also know what a bagel, a bowl of cereal or instant oatmeal does to my body. I choose bacon.) On the weekends, I typically have my bacon with a Mission brand carb control wrap (the tiny ones) the small amount of wheat in these does not seem to bother me when I have just one. Add mustard!
String Cheese and scant handful of raw almonds

Homemade salad (organic baby greens, bit of cheese, some real salad dressing)
Some sort of protein, usually left over chicken
Chobani Greek yogurt

Fish, chicken or shrimp (red meat maybe once a week)
Green Veggies
Sweet potato (once a week)

Snacks: (usually 2 or 3of these spread throughout the day)
String cheese
Raw almonds
Celery with organic almond butter
Chobani Greek yogurt
Apple, orange, pear or berries (low glycemic fruit - only once a day)

I do have coffee a few times throughout the week...usually made at home in the Keurig, with Stevia, Organic Milk and International Delight's Caramel Macchiatto creamer added in.

That's about it for me. This keeps me satisfied and not *constantly* thinking about food, and as far as I am concerned, that is good enough for me right now.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Unsolicited Advice from Me to You

I was pretty proud (probably overly so...) of some "advice" I gave to someone recently. (a someone-who-should-never-have-these-thoughts-going-through-their-head-because-they-are-beautiful-and,-like-the-rest-of-us,-tend-to-judge-themselves-too-harshly)

Let me say, though, I was not asked for advice, it just came out of me, like everything else :)

At the gym, the Y, Curves, etc...Folks are not judging you like people seem to think.

(I’ve been in gyms, at over 325 pounds in the past.)

At least you are there. You are all there for similar reasons. Always remember that. At least you are there. Can't judge someone who is working their butts off on a machine, now can ya? What are you thinking about when you are on a machine and looking around? Maybe “gosh, she’s so skinny, ugh, jealous!” etc…but you are not picking out some random fat girl and thinking “Ugh look at that fat chick. What’s she think she’s doing?“ etc. You are (or SHOULD!!) be thinking “wow, check her out… good for her!!!!”

Someone told me once that it was pretty egotistical to think that everyone is looking
at you or judging you or talking about you. Because they more-than-likely are NOT.

(I know that sounds harsh, but that’s how it was told to me and I have felt differently since.)

Not that there are not SOME buttholes who do stare/talk/etc. but THOSE people are not even worth the air they breathe, let alone your concern.

Just food for thought. I’m well versed…I’m fat, remember?


I just purchased this.

Yep, really.

No, this is not brought on by my most recent commitment to being healthier. I have always wanted one. This was a great deal, I could not pass it up. I used the "5 easy pay", which is the only way I could afford it...but I am feeling good about it.

Delievery will take quite a while (almost 3 weeks), so meanwhile I am preparing myself for the chunk of space it is going to take in my living room.

Worth the sacrifice? Yep, really.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


This happiness and energy has really affected me lately...

More-than-several-times-now, I have been known to go sliding across our hardwood floors in my black-and-gray-leopard-print bedroom shoes. Yep, you know it... the kind of sliding that takes place when you take off at a run and then kinda strike a pose as you go skidding across the floors!? Awesome.

Yeah, Hotty Scotty think's I am crazy. I just...well, I just feel good.

Poker Face

Can't read my, can't read my,
No he can't read my poker face.

Heard this Lady Gaga song on the way to work yesterday morning and could not help but to smile.

It just reminded me that (other than this blaaah-g) I kinda have a poker face thing going on. If you see me right now, say, eating lunch or at the grocery would not know I am making drastic changes in my diet. I guess you could look on my plate, or in my shopping cart, but not on my face. I am just doing it. Unlike the past, I am not frowning and sighing over what I cannot eat or how *hard* this is to do. I am just as happy to shop over the beautiful produce selections as I was to careen myself down the bread aisle looking for a fix. I am content eating my veggies and lean proteins for lunch. I am okay with packing a small cooler everyday to take to work.

I am okay. I do suffer and almost lust after less-than-ideal foods, like a true addict, at times. I am almost high from energy and positive feelings at other times. The point is, I am okay and I hope that my face shows that.

I promise this, promise this,
Check this hand cause I'm marvelous.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Checking In!

Here's an easy reading post...

I still feel great!

I am NOT struggling to eat right!

I have found a few new products that are fab!

TMI: remember what always happens to me when I eat right... the thing that PCOS makes me NOT do... well,'s happening! Most women complain... I CELEBRATE!


No joint pain!

More positive mood and outlook!

I pray that this continute and that I do not LET myself go back to old ways. Self: keep this up. You do NOT want to give up this awesomeness.

Love to all of you!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Wheat Theory Tested...Accidentally

Can something be accidental, but kinda not accidental?

Well, I guess it was accidental, I just was not thinking...

I decided to make a loaf of my pretty-dang-good low carb bread in my awesome honkin' bread machine Wednesday night. I added the wet ingredients, then the dry, some extra flaxseeds, a bit of the active yeast and let it roll.

Lots of mechanical kneading, rising and baking time later, there it was a piping hot loaf of bread that I could eat a slice of!! I got out our tub of a local creamery's sweet cream butter and prepared myself for a piece of goodness.

(insert eating said piece of goodness here)

Fast-forward about 20 to 30 minutes later. I am curled up in a miserable ball on the bed in pain. Gas, belly pain, headache, etc. Yuck.

Coincidence? or the one-and-a-half cups of "Vital Wheat Gluten" I put in the bread as an ingredient?

Keep in mind, I have cut probably 75 to 80% of the wheat/gluten out of my diet lately. I have not been celiac-strict, but just mindful of checking labels and staying away from the obvious breads/flours/etc. Well, I survived the night and stuck to my regular non-processed-no-starch-etc. ways the next day. That afternoon, I had a a big helping of some "low glycemic" type of crackers that had very few carbs and no junk...about half an hour later, same reaction as the night before. I checked the label, yep... wheat.

Our chickens got the rest of the loaf of low carb bread and someone else can eat those crackers as far as I am concerned. I have already located a couple of gluten-free and low carb bread recipes...using almond flour, nut flours, etc. I cannot wait to try them!

I think there is definitely some sort of intolerance there.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

CK's Seared Tuna

I have had several requests to share my simple method of cooking a beautiful tuna. This is very picture-heavy, but I wanted to take enough so you know what things should look like.  :) I even used nice dishes this time, sometimes it's paper plates around my house!


Fresh Sashimi Grade Tuna
Black Sesame Seeds
Regular Sesame Seeds
Salt & Pepper
Sesame Oil & Olive Oil

Other: (for dipping)

Wasabi, prepared
Soy Sauce

Right before you sear your tuna, go ahead and complete these steps, as the cooking time is really no more than about 30 seconds on each side.

Mix a bit of wasabi with some mayo...
...and dice a ripe avocado for garnish.

Go ahead and have out your plates, chopsticks, soy sauce, etc. too.

OK, now on to the good stuff...

Drizzle some sesame oil and some olive oil in your pan and let it start heating up on Medium-High while you prepare your tuna. (stainless steel or a wok, I have used both)

Take a handful each of black sesame seeds and regular sesame seeds and mix them together in a dish. Add in a few grinds of fresh sea salt and cracked black pepper. Take your tuna and coat all sides in the seeds. No egg whites, no water, no nothing. Amazingly enough, the sesame seeds just stick to the fish without you having to use anything else. Really get it on there good, and on all sides as this forms a tasty "crust".

Careful place your tuna into the hot pan/wok. The seeds will jump out and they burn. Consider yourself warned.

Sear the tuna.

That's it.

I sear mine on all sides for no more than 30 seconds. We like our tuna very rare/raw on the inside. (see my pictures)

Sear yours until desired doneness is achieved.

(Please, please do not overcook and ruin it!)

Slice seared tuna and plate up. See how the tuna is seared all the way
around? I take my tongs and hold pieces up in the pan so that the edges
have a chance to sear too. A little extra work, but it ensures a nice crust.

Add avocado garnish and soy sauce on the sides.
Do not forget your wasabi mayo.
Now, enjoy!

I hope you find the time to make this absolutely tasty dish very soon.

Meyer Lemons

Oh my's that time of year and I have finally found you in the stores again...

Believed to be a hybrid between a lemon and a mandarin orange, Meyer lemons were first introduced to the USA by a US Dept. of Agriculture "plant hunter", Frank Meyer. Meyer "discovered" these lemons in Peking (now Beijing), China in 1908.

These babies are not nearly as tart as regular lemons. They have a much appreciated sweetness to them. In fact, I tend to eat mine like an orange, sometimes adding a packet of Stevia. They have a thinner peel, but just as many pesky seeds. There are tons of recipes you can try and if you find yourself buying too many (like me) you can always preserve them. (Seriously, they rival olives in my book.) I have placed a "how-to" at the end of this post.

Meyer Lemons
In the packaging that I typically see in stores. 
This was my mid-morning snack today. If *only* you could smell this. You know you are tempted to stick your nose on the screen and sniff!

(and yes, I really did do a happy dance at the store last night when I found husband just rolled his eyes)

Preserved Meyer Lemons

Recipe adapted from Paula Wolfert
10 to 12 Meyer lemons
2/3 cup kosher salt
1/4 cup olive oil


You will need a 6-cup jar with tight-fitting lid
Blanch 6 lemons in boiling water 5 minutes. When cool enough to handle, cut lemons into 8 wedges each and discard seeds. Toss with salt in a bowl and pack into jar.
Squeeze enough juice from remaining lemons to measure 1 cup. Add enough juice to cover lemons and cover jar with lid. Let stand at room temperature, shaking gently once a day, 5 days. Add oil and chill.
Cook's Note: Preserved lemons keep, chilled, up to 1 year.

17 foods

Greek Yogurt.
Spring Mix.
Vidalia Onions.
Raw/Rare Sashimi Tuna.
Red Bell Pepper.
Blue Cheese.
Meyer Lemons.
German Johnson's.

What is that? It's a list of my top 17 favorite foods. Non-negotiables. Foods I want. Foods I love.

Why not a top 20? Well... I thought long and hard about this list. I am sure there are others, but these were the ones that really jumped out at me. (In fact, I kept sitting up in bed the night before last and jotting them down. I woke up the next morning, and bam! there was my list.)

Look at that list. It's a pretty good list. Hotty Scotty tends to say I like "weird foods". (Realize though, that he is a meat-and-potatoes-and-little-debbies-and-whole-box-of-chocolate-covered-cherries-at-a-time-and-all-sorts-of-other-crap kind of guy. He manages to eat things and amounts of stuff that would make you want to slap him and *still* stays right at his ideal weight. His job is extremely physically demanding though, and I swear that has to be what offsets his caloric/junk intake.) point with this post is this:

Look at what I love. There are no cupcakes, or pastas, or donuts, or sodas listed. In fact as I was making this list, those things did not even cross my mind. (Yes, I do like an occasional pasta dish... but look at this and this.)

The question I have had to force myself to face is, "if that list contains the foods that I absolutely love, then why the *HELL* (sorry, mom) have I spent a good say, twenty of my 31 years eating crap??!".

I do not like donuts. At. All. (Yes, really-really.) Have I eaten them plenty of times? Yes. In fact, I have, at times, eaten not one, but like three or four. (or five.) Now the next question I have to face is why? Why eat said donuts or other stuff when it is not even something I really like.

Remember my posts about insulin resistance, addictions, and other struggles? (In fact, just go back to the oldest posts and start at the beginning. You will see my struggles ~ then you will call me a nut-job fo' sho'.) Well, once I get a small taste of something (like said donuts or maybe a cupcake at a birthday party) it's on. I mean it's on like Donkey Kong. The sugar and other processed stuff sets off a reaction in my body that would easily rival a drug addict. Once I get in to the "cycle" you've seen me write about, I go into a downward spiral. I. Must. Have. Donuts. I eat them, a lot of them, then I feel bad about it, but they were soooooo "good", they gave me my fix. Blood sugar and insulin SPIKE. Crash. Need. More. Donuts.


Now, if you have read this bah-log from the beginning, you have seen my seemingly-bipolar-indecisive-multiple-personalities battle over Weight Watchers vs. Low Carb/No Sugar. I am learning more and more everyday that tailoring a plan to your own body and medical issues is vital. I need the portion control that WW offers, but more than that I also need the restricted sugar/starches/wheat to keep my hormones and body chemistry happy.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fat Girl vs Office Chair

I'm feeling so good right now, that it is hard to talk about this topic, but it really had a profound effect on me and I wanted to share.

Background: I am taking some online classes right now and have been working on my assignments at my craft table in the craftroom a couple of nights a week. I sit in our office/desk chair when I am in there...a traditional chair with non-adjustable loop-style arms.

Secondary Information: (and TMI *snort*) I tend to run around the house in a tank top and undies in the evenings. (sometimes knit shorts) This was one of those sans shorts evenings. (*chuckle*)


Hotty Scotty was getting B ready for bed so that I could do some homework and they were in the bathroom brushing their teeth. I ran in there really quick for something and everyone was carrying on life as usual when I heard Scott say:

"Christina, (...pause...) is that what the office chair does to you?"

(in the softest, most sincere, caring, almost hurt voice I have ever heard him use)

The way he said my name before his statement...the way his voice sounded...the pain in his eyes (not disgust, but pain, for me)...the whole situation. My world stopped spinning for a moment. It was one of those "oh-my-gosh-I-think-he-just-realized-I-am-fat" moments.

He was referring to the large, deep, angry red indentations that the chair arms had formed across my upper/outer thighs. Yeah, I know the chair is tight when I sit in it. I know it is uncomfortable. I guess I am just used to it. This was one of the first times I can remember ever being truly embarrassed and ashamed of myself in front of my husband.

I simply nodded and replied an emotionless "Yes." to his question.

But...then I silently added "...but I am doing something about it."

To say that I am thankful
for his loving me the
way I am is yet another

End. Of. *That*. Moment.

Monday, January 2, 2012

A Dance in Your Car Type of Day

Wow. I feel so good today.

(Seriously, that is the understatement of the year right there!)

Today was one of those days where it seemed like the radio stations played nothing but GREAT songs. Add that to my good, no, awesome feeling and it became what I like to call "an-oh-my-gosh-that-is-sooo-my-theme-song" type of day! The fun part was, every song that came on had me saying "No! THIS is sooo my song!" Nicki Minaj and Drake were definitely the front-runners :)

Yeah, today rocked! I found myself in the car a lot today, so I did a lot of dancing :) (Okay, and yes, I did a lot of the checking-myself-out-in-the-mirror-while-rocking-my-stunner-shades and ducky-kissy-face-pictures of myself too.)
  • I had a long to-do list that I wanted to accomplish since it was my last day of vacay.

To-do List = Nailed it!

  • My jeans were a tad looser in the belly today.

Freaking awesome!

  • I have finally eliminated a lot of processed crap and other inflammatory items from my diet.

Energy = Check!
Positive Mood = Check!
Puffed uppedness/Bloating = Diminishing! (yeah, I said uppedness.)
Eczema = Improving!

I am still counting my "points", while also avoiding starches like the plague. Anything white or containing wheat (I think I have an allergy) just has no place in my body. Perhaps I am actually (after a looooong period of time that we will not even discuss) finding a good balance between portion control and lowering the sugar/starch that I consume.

I will do a longer post on this topic, but I wanted to say that my best piece of advice right now (since I can preach it, but cannot always seem to practice it, ugh) is to stop beating yourself up and second guessing things. Just do something. Pick something that WORKS FOR YOU and do it. You dont even have to talk about it. Actions speak soooo much louder than words. It has taken me a long time to figure that out.

(Though, I do like to talk about it...)
(Anyone want to do the Dougie with me? LOL)