Raw/Rare Sashimi Tuna.
Red Bell Pepper.
What is that? It's a list of my top 17 favorite foods. Non-negotiables. Foods I want. Foods I love.
Why not a top 20? Well... I thought long and hard about this list. I am sure there are others, but these were the ones that really jumped out at me. (In fact, I kept sitting up in bed the night before last and jotting them down. I woke up the next morning, and bam! there was my list.)
Look at that list. It's a pretty good list. Hotty Scotty tends to say I like "weird foods". (Realize though, that he is a meat-and-potatoes-and-little-debbies-and-whole-box-of-chocolate-covered-cherries-at-a-time-and-all-sorts-of-other-crap kind of guy. He manages to eat things and amounts of stuff that would make you want to slap him and *still* stays right at his ideal weight. His job is extremely physically demanding though, and I swear that has to be what offsets his caloric/junk intake.)
Anyway...my point with this post is this:
Look at what I love. There are no cupcakes, or pastas, or donuts, or sodas listed. In fact as I was making this list, those things did not even cross my mind. (Yes, I do like an occasional pasta dish... but look at this and this.)
The question I have had to force myself to face is, "if that list contains the foods that I absolutely love, then why the *HELL* (sorry, mom) have I spent a good say, twenty of my 31 years eating crap??!".
I do not like donuts. At. All. (Yes, really-really.) Have I eaten them plenty of times? Yes. In fact, I have, at times, eaten not one, but like three or four. (or five.) Now the next question I have to face is why? Why eat said donuts or other stuff when it is not even something I really like.
Remember my posts about insulin resistance, addictions, and other struggles? (In fact, just go back to the oldest posts and start at the beginning. You will see my struggles ~ then you will call me a nut-job fo' sho'.) Well, once I get a small taste of something (like said donuts or maybe a cupcake at a birthday party) it's on. I mean it's on like Donkey Kong. The sugar and other processed stuff sets off a reaction in my body that would easily rival a drug addict. Once I get in to the "cycle" you've seen me write about, I go into a downward spiral. I. Must. Have. Donuts. I eat them, a lot of them, then I feel bad about it, but they were soooooo "good", they gave me my fix. Blood sugar and insulin SPIKE. Crash. Need. More. Donuts.
Now, if you have read this bah-log from the beginning, you have seen my seemingly-bipolar-indecisive-multiple-personalities battle over Weight Watchers vs. Low Carb/No Sugar. I am learning more and more everyday that tailoring a plan to your own body and medical issues is vital. I need the portion control that WW offers, but more than that I also need the restricted sugar/starches/wheat to keep my hormones and body chemistry happy.