Stepping Out

Background: I have been itching (probably not the best word to use there, ha!) to get outdoors. I do not/have not ever considered myself an outdoorsy person. I guess, too, I have just never realized how easy it is to find a trail and go with it. After much consideration and a bit of convincing Hotty Scotty that I am serious about it (not to mention, picking a few well-versed-outdoorsy brains), we decided on the Bicentennial Greenway to begin. We wanted to take B and her stroller, so this paved trail was a great place to start.

This post is a (picture heavy) account of our first outdoor adventure! Enjoy.

When: April 14, 2013
Where: Bicentennial Greenway
     Starting at the Piedmont Environmental Center on Penny Rd., High Point, NC to East Fork Rd and back.
Miles Traveled: 2.83
Temperature: 77-80`F

Just follow me... and the signs...

Here is the Piedmont Environmental Center building:

The first two things you see on this trail are a great teepee and a small greenhouse. This is before you even get 25 yards into it.

      

As we  followed the path on into the green and away from Penny Road which runs along the first part of this section, we looked up...and we were under beautiful canopies of dogwoods and other flowering trees.   

Stunning. I always say, "No matter where you are, do not forget to look up."

We got to the half mile marker and came across what we dubbed the *love* tree. (real original, I know) Lots of folks have carved their initials into the trunk of this tree.

  

Looking to the left, we saw an unpaved section of trail. "No Bikes" was clearly marked. We stayed on the pavement, and on our feet. :)

More pretties along the way. The sides of the trail were sprinkled in tiny violets. These always remind me of my Mimi.

We came along the first couple of benches as we approached the 3/4 and 1 mile markers. One bench had a shelter that was a boy scout project.

We were greeted by a great set of steps... (the shot on down below, coming back is a good one...) The steps are even equipped with a bike groove.

As we got to the bottom of the steps and over a small bridge, we were seeing bits and pieces of High Point City Lake. How beautiful to look out to our right and see the sparkling water.

                                                   

Three logs a' laying. :)

This shot is at the bottom of the steps and over the bridge. I was a few yards ahead and looking back at Scott and B.

With the lake still on our right, we continued our quiet walk down the path and we started hearing small splashes of water. We looked over and the turtles that were sunning on the logs were plopping back into the water. *plop*...*splash*...*plop*...B was thrilled to see and hear this! A little further down the path was another "foot path" that led right to the lake shore. A fallen log made for a perfect place to sit a spell.

    

                 

One of several bridges along the Bicentennial Greenway...

Up ahead, a sign warned cyclists to dismount their bikes. This peaked my curiosity  especially when I saw a stop sign and a fence that you had to navigate through. Why?

It was a HUGE hill! Straight down! When we came back through, we saw one brave guy, on a bike, slip right through the offset fence and zoom down the hill - and it looked sooooo fun! I almost wished he had hollered "wheeeeeee!".

See how the fence is offset? Meant to be a deterrent, I am sure, but obviously not for everyone. :)

 

Have mercy. Pollen anyone? At the bottom of the steep hill was another bridge and the pollen was just swirling in the shallow water below.

Shortly after the hill and bridge, we hit the 1 1/4 mile marker.

Around the next bend, the road was very bumpy and rough. This is proof that if we (the human race) were to cease to exist, Mother Earth would heal herself. The tree roots are trying to take over this section of the trail.

Finally, we have reached our turn around point. East Fork Road is the first major intersection of the Greenway after leaving the Piedmont Environmental Center. If you continue on the trail, you will eventually end up on Wendover Avenue in Greensboro! This was definitely not the best shot of me...no makeup, frumpy-but-oh-so-comfy clothes and no tan, but...we were excited to snap a shot of this accomplishment.

Alright, so by now, we have turned around and started back. The lake is now on our left. Here is another good shot of the tree roots taking over the pavement.

Honestly, since I am a total beginner, I have no idea what these types of trail markers mean. I intend to find out though!

This beauty fluttered by us before landing on a tree in full bloom.

Back to the bridge and just before the steep hill! B was enjoying getting a lift from the stroller at this point. She walked a big part of the trail. The birds, geese, butterflies, turtles and flowers kept her interested.

More pollen. Achoooooo!

Here it is! The steep hill. We knew going back up would not be fun. It was a workout! Scott jogged up and pushed the stroller. I took a different approach, I leaned into it and kept a steady, albeit slow pace. You can see the offset fence at the upper left of the picture.

Along the way, you will see chain link fence at various points. I am not sure how long it has been here, but I would imagine it has been quite a while. You can see how this tree grew through the fence. The bark has consumed bits of the metal fence.

A great shot of the lake and the Greenway trail.

This tree has been eaten up by something. Termites? Shotgun? No clue here, but the texture was pretty neat.

Coming back, we came upon a sign warning us of the steps ahead. B decided it was time to get back on her feet.

Super cool tree.

 Here is that great shot of the bridge, and then the steps that I promised you.
(it was harder now than it was coming down...)

(beautiful though, right?!)

Back at the top of the stairs, AND after carrying the stroller to the top...Hotty Scotty.

The love tree. <3

Another trail marker.

My well-worked feet :)      

Almost back where we started and still all smiles. It was starting to feel hot though and our legs were heavy.

We took up the offer from one of the benches...took a 10 minute break, drank some water, and then finished our walk.

                            B was still enjoying herself. And a fruit cup.

There's a fungus among us...

One of a handful of lightposts at the beginning of the trail.

Back where we started, there is the teepee.

A view of the parking lot as we finish our trek.

By the end, I was pretty red in the face and very hot and actually a bit sweaty, but ready to plan another adventure.

 

I will leave you with a couple of beautiful dogwood shots. These are two of my favorites from our walk. I hope you enjoyed following us on our first outdoor adventure.

Bloodwork.

I lowered my cholesterol by 20 points these past 3 months!

I lowered my glucose A1C level from 6.0 to a 5.7!

No meds.

That is all.

:)

more reasons...

I have thought of a few more reasons to keep on trucking. Nothing spectacular, but reason enough for me...

I want...

...a scarf to fit nicely and have plenty of length left over to hang down.

...to feel more confident when I walk into a room.

...to wear a bathing suit and not be completely mortified.

...to inspire friends and family to be more healthy and fit.

...to choose to go do things instead of sometimes hide from the world.

...to hear something other than "you have such a pretty face."

That's all I have for now.

Reflection.

I was out shopping with a dear friend last week. While waiting for her to try on a shirt, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye.

Bad news.

It was me.

I was even rocking my fav new striped shirt. Feeling good. Feeling stylish. I even had a couple of ladies tell me I was looking very stylish with my orange stripes paired with a pop of bright teal and pink on a chunky necklace.

Little did I know how frumpy I looked.

Until I saw my reflection.

Motivation.

simplify?

I do not usually pray about my weight, or weight loss, or much of anything related.
        Maybe I should, but I usually do not.

This morning was different. I included a little prayer for God to just help me stick to something and to help me with my weight. I left a lot of things unsaid. He knows what I mean when I do ask that. If you read my blog, so do you.

I had the weirdest feeling as I was praying that simple prayer.


In my head, this is what I "heard"...

"All I have to do is just do it. God will handle the rest. He will make things happen. I just have to do it."


There's a lot of things in the "it" part of that statement. Count my calories, make healthy food choices, exercise...to name a few. But something about that thought made it suddenly seem so simple.

I just have to do it. HE will make things happen.

What a neat feeling as I was driving to work this morning. Granted, it is a lot. I have to do a lot. Sometimes, though, I get caught up in "I have to lose weight." that I forget that the focus should not be on losing weight, but on the *other* things...calories, food choices, treadmill swagger... :) In reality, I cannot just lose weight. I can count the calories, make better choices, get up and move, etc. The weight loss will happen.

I just wanted to share. Even if you do not share my beliefs, I am sure you can understand how sometimes we tend to majorly over-complicate things, and what a profound relief it is when we step back, regroup, and simplify.

I want...

...to wear tall socks that fit my calves.

...to be able to sit my cup of water between my legs while driving.

...my feet and ankles to not hurt first thing in the morning when I stand up.

...to feel hott.

...to be light enough for my husband to pick me up.

...to wear the cute, stylish clothes I see on some folks.

...to shop in the regular sizes.

...to order less clothing online.

...to not be or feel like the biggest person in the room.

...to be a lasting success story.

...to be able to walk into Old Navy and wear anything I want.

...my child to see a slimmer, healthier me.

...to wear something from Victoria's Secret.

...to comfortably wear high heels or cute wedges.

...to wear an anklet.

...to see only one chin in my impromptu pictures.

...to get to ride amusement park and fair rides again.

...to fit comfortably in all restaurant booths.

...to sit in any chair and know it will hold me.

...to be able to lay on one of those tri-folding lawn chairs. (like beach chairs)

...my head to be filled with positives and hope.

...my back to not ache all the time.

...to come off of my BP medicine.

...to get my PCOS symptoms under control.

...to feel good when I step on the scale at the doc's office.

...to practice what I preach.

...to be able to jog a mile.

...to look as awesome on the outside as I AM on the inside.

...to fit in a kayak.

...to be able to wear my husband's t-shirts.

...to wear cute bangle bracelets.

...to run.

...to go zip-lining.

...to not always be wondering if everyone is noticing the fat girl.

...to lessen the burden on my legs so I will slow the developing spider veins.

...to wear a pair of boots.

...to have to get my rings resized.

...to set a good example for my child.

...my husband to get to see a smaller me.

...to stop wearing the thighs out of my pants.

...to wrap up in a regular-sized towel.

...my boobs to stick out farther than my stomach.

...my heart to not have to work so hard.

...to feel my collarbones/hipbones/etc.

...to breeze through a turnstyle without turning sideways and hopping.

candy

Candy is not a food.

At least, I do not think it is a food. Well, let me back up and say that I used to think of it as a food.

but it is not.

Candy is a treat.

You do not have to have candy.

In fact, some people do not eat candy.

I like candy.

I overeat candy.

Until now.

I am still tracking my calories at MyFittnessPal.com and it is fantabulous!

Somehow, seeing the empty nutritional value of candy laid out before my very eyes has started to change the way I look at it.

Take Wonka's Bottle Caps Soda Pop candy for instance. A "serving" is 13 little tiny pieces. In just those 13 pieces, there are 60 calories. Calories and sugar. No protein, no nothing. Just calories and sugar. Consider that, and the fact that very few of us actually only eat 13 pieces in a sitting. It. adds. up.

It eats (pun, ha!) away at your caloric recommendation for the day. It adds nothing to your diet.

Yet, we still want it.

Can we have a little? YES, we can.

...but back to what I said earlier, it is a T-R-E-A-T.

Not a meal, not even a snack. Just a small treat.

Today I wanted a few of said Bottle Caps. I opened the box, took out 3 little pieces, and put the box away. I savored the 3 pieces, individually. I ate them slowly, enjoying their sweet, bubbly taste.

I entered my 3 Bottle Caps into myfitnesspal. 14 calories. I can totally handle 14 calories. It is the 180 or 240, or even 300 calories worth that could have sabotaged my entire day. I am happy.

I had a treat, not a binge.

14 calories for the Win!

Over and Over and Over

Yep.

What happened to me?

How many years did you used to have to go get your driver's licence renewed? Was it four years?

I remember being 20 or 21 years old, walking into the DMV (the day AFTER I was supposed to be there) and sitting down to wait for my turn at renewing my license.

I was sitting in the chair, digging out my old license (from when I was 16 and pretty hott) in case the examiner needed to see it. I managed to drop it and this guy next to me leaned over to pick it up for me.

He glanced down at the picture and said, "Is that you?" I replied, "Yeah."

The next thing out of his mouth was, "Damn girl, what happened to you? You used to be hot."

Sure, in those past four years, a lot had gone on. I had graduated high school, started community college, moved out of my parent's house...all the "usual" stuff. I had also been finally diagnosed with PCOS. My eating was out of control. I had no real understanding what that really meant...or how I would end up struggling with this for the rest of my life. Or how, as I get older, it gets even harder.

Or how much I changed.

In four quick years, I went from a tan, long-haired, not-slim-but-just-a-bit-overweight "hot chick" to looking like a "fat-Chinese-girl" as I have forever referred to that next license picture as. Ugh.

Okay, flashforward to the present.

I still sometimes catch myself not realizing what I look like. Oh, how do I explain that? Here's an example:

I am getting dressed in the morning. I sit down on the end of the bed, in bra and panties, to maybe help B zip her pants or something and I catch a glimpse of myself in the dresser mirror. If you are as big as I am, you know what I mean when I say that when you sit down, your fat, errr, spreads.

That is hard to explain, but when you sit down, everything kinda bunches and just blobs together, making you look even bigger. I assume you get what I mean. Well, I see myself in the mirror, fat all spread out and I think, "Oh. My. God. is that me?" My belly rests on my lap. The back-fat sitting there like a couple of weird boobs above my rear. (it's ok to laugh at that one) Years of PCOS-ridden body damage, laced with binge/comfort/emotional eating, staring me right in the face. Then I am SLAMMED with a deep horror, followed up with a second slam of sadness and hopelessness.

Sorry folks, that may sound depressing and harsh, but it is the simplest and most honest way I can describe it. What happened to me? I do not know. I do know. I hate it. I do not seem to be able to fix it. It is that swing I have blogged about. It is that madness. It is that street I walk down and keep falling in the hole. It is me.

I am a lot of what happened to me.

How in the world do you fix yourself when part of yourself is working against you?

I wanna be just like you.

My sweet child said two unexpected things this weekend. Two unexpected things that have left me feeling a little...numb? I do not even have a word for it yet.

First up...

We went on a "family lunch date" on Saturday. As we were happily sitting in Sir Pizza, B decided she wanted the lemon that was in my water. I fished it out of the cup and gave it another quick squeeze and handed it over. She proceeded to look at the lemon wedge, look at me, then said "Mommy, you squeezed the hell out of it."

Yep. She sure did.

Scott and I decided to ignore it. So, of course, she repeated the statement, this time louder. I am sure the two elderly ladies next to us have deemed us unfit parents. Ugh.

Lesson learned: Watch our mouths.

Second...

Scott, B and I are all on the couch watching the eleventy-thousandth episode of Spongebob Squarepants. Scott and B are snacking on chips. (For what it is worth, I will say that I was not eating anything at the time...) B is really big on the "I am going to eat my food so I can grow up to be big and strong..." deal right now. I am sure they hear it at daycare etc. as an encouragement to eat their lunches/snacks. So I did not think anything of her saying that to me. THEN she said "I am gonna get real big and strong and fat." I was not really thinking negatively as I said, "Nah, sweety,  you don't want to be fat, just big and strong." The next thing out of her mouth was, "But you are."

I just kinda kept it light and said something like "Well, yes, I am, but you do not want to be." She said "but I want to be just like you."

I dropped the subject after mentioning something about getting big and strong and exercising and being slim. I sucked it up. I did not let her see me cry.

Lesson learned: I am setting an example for my child. She wants to be like me. So am I being the best me that I can be? No. I am not.

If I could just quit food...at this point...I would.

comfort foods

I have never thought of myself as believing in or having comfort foods. Until now.

I spent the better part of Saturday evening in a tree stand and all I got from it was a nasty cold. I am snotty, achy, ill... you name it. I was driving to work this morning (yes, I am typing this before 8:00 AM and will finish on my lunch break - thank you!) and all I can think about is grabbing a McD's bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit with hashbrown and a real coke for breakfast. It sounds so yummy, I can almost taste it.

Then I realized that food will not make me feel better so I might as well skip it. What? Did I just think that?

I guess I do have my comfort foods. I must say, too, that a McD's bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit combo is at the top of the list! It has hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. (sorry for the cliche!) I have comfort foods and did not even know it.

I cannot tell you how many mornings I have gotten up and felt tired or sick and have headed strait to McD's on those days. Days that I know are going to be busy or stressful...I'm in the drivethru that morning. Mornings that I am feeling bad about myself or sorry for myself...yep, you guessed it...another bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit.

O.M.G. I have been throwing bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuits at my feelings, my illnesses, my busy days...the list goes on. Sometimes it is a Bojangles-cajun-filet-biscuit-with-seasoned-fries-morning... but let's just say that the ladies at the McDonalds window know me.

I came to work (even though my "poor-me-I'm-sick-mentality" tried to steer me towards McD's) and made myself a pack of instant grits. (Don't hate! I love instant grits, they work for me and they are 100 calories!)

Why did something like that strike me this morning? Why did I literally say out loud to myself (over and over) "food will not make your cold better, so go straight to work"? Why this time?

I do not know. I am glad, though. A little Very baffled by it, but very glad.

Did I just finally start making it to chapter 4 from this post?! If so, this is BIG.

and I quote...

Well, this could just about sum up my previous post (below)...

Delaying life.

I thought I would take a moment to talk about something I am guilty of doing.

A lot.

Like always.

Sometimes I put off doing, buying, ENJOYING things until I am "skinny".

I constantly put off stuff and say that I will do it as a reward for myself if I, say, lose 20 pounds. I think that I am setting up some sort of reward system for myself, but it really seems to set me up to fail then feel bad and then make me even more miserable.

Just a few examples of "I-will-do-that-after-I-lose-some-weight" situations:

     renewing my cosmo subscription

     buying an awesome ornament from hobby lobby

     getting the decent work/dress pants I found

     buying my new Nikon

     covering the gray (yes folks, gray!) at my temples

     going to get a mani/pedi

Here was my thinking regarding the pants situation: I got one pair in my current size. I said I'd get another pair or two in the other colors but in smaller sizes. Then I decided I would not buy anymore at all, until I lost weight. Ugh. Well what about right now? Should I not get to wear nice pants that flatter me right NOW? Sure, sure, if I do lose enough weight to make them big and baggy, I will have to buy more... but why not have pants that fit now. It sure makes me feel good when I am comfortable, stylish, and have more than two pairs of dress pants that fit! It makes laundry day come a little less often too!

If I do not start to live and enjoy each day like I seem to think I would if I were skinny, then I am wasting my entire life away. Waiting on something that just may never happen. Not too long ago, I saw a dove chocolate (Lord, help me.) wrapper one day that said, "Live in the present." That is pretty powerful. We should not live in, nor dwell on the past, but might I point out that always waiting on something bigger (In my case, smaller? lol) in the future and not seeing and enjoying things right in front of you is not much better. Live. in. the. present.

Is that not just punishing myself even more than being overweight naturally already does? Geesh.

High heels are not my friends. Rollercoasters and theme parks are kinda a favorite pastime now. My confidence level is not always so great. It can be hard to find trendy clothes to fit my body.  The list goes on. (Future post, anyone?) There is enough built-in grief to being my size... so dang it, I am going to have my flippin' Cosmo magazine, my Christmas ornaments, etc.

Besides, (and I quote) "I may not be skinny, but I am freaking awesome, and that is basically the same thing." LOVE that! Plus, who's to say that being skinny would automatically solve all the problems in the world for me? I am not that naive.

and yes...

I picked up the latest Cosmo issue and renewed my subscription. Then bought the last camera ornament they had at Hobby Lobby AND I got two more pairs of those good-fitting pants in my current size and I could not be happier. Well, if I were skinny, maybe...