Tomatoes and blogging for lunch

Guess what's for luuunch...

You know it! Mater sandwich!!!

I will not mislead you. I have not been eating this fresh and this healthy 100% of the time. You can look at me and tell that. However, let's all rejoice at the beautiful lunch I packed today...

✿ Kinley tomato
✿ Light Honey Wheat Bread
✿ Sugar Snap Peas
✿ Grapes
✿ Miracle Whip Light*

Seriously, let's have a moment of silence for this glorious sandwich.
...
That tomato was juicy and everything that a cardboard-grocery-store-tomato wishes it could be. My father-in-love shares his garden bounty with us and I love it!

Yeah, I'm getting to that mayo situation in a minute. I just thought that the sandwich needed a moment all to itself.

(It's gone now, btw. In. My. Tummy.)

OK, so back to the business at hand. I know it is a cardinal sin to use anything other than Duke's on a tomato sandwich, but let's face it, at 100 calories per tablespoon, I just can't. Lately, I really cannot justify Duke's Light at 50 calories per tablespoon either. Why? Because I like a LOT of  "mayo" on my mater sandwich dang it!

Enter: Miracle Whip Light

Ugg.

I know.

I am managing though. It's not so bad. For a first-timer, I was pleasantly surprised. Plus, I can have 2 big ol' tablespoons for 20 calories each. That definitely makes MyFitnessPal happy... In order to maybe, possibly, eventually meet our goals, we have to make adjustments. Sacrifices if you will. This is a small one. The sandwich was great. It was a juicy, local, family-grown tomato for Pete's sake. The tomato makes the sandwich. The mayo Miracle Whip is really just an assistant stagehand background singer (fill in something here). I don't know what to call it because all the other words are very important positions! Anyways, let me not turn this into another tangent, you get my point. That Kinley tomato was the star!

And none was left behind. Here I am eating the "butt" of the tomato. :)

Costco.

We are officially hooked and in love. lol

Today's purchases:
Raspberries
Blueberries
Strawberries
Broccoli
Salad mix
Red Peppers
Greek Yogurts
Chicken Sausages
Avocados
String Cheese

Oh yeah. That's my kind of list :)

Granted, I would much rather hit up the farmer's market...I am still very happy with our trip today.

candy

Candy is not a food.

At least, I do not think it is a food. Well, let me back up and say that I used to think of it as a food.

but it is not.

Candy is a treat.

You do not have to have candy.

In fact, some people do not eat candy.

I like candy.

I overeat candy.

Until now.

I am still tracking my calories at MyFittnessPal.com and it is fantabulous!

Somehow, seeing the empty nutritional value of candy laid out before my very eyes has started to change the way I look at it.

Take Wonka's Bottle Caps Soda Pop candy for instance. A "serving" is 13 little tiny pieces. In just those 13 pieces, there are 60 calories. Calories and sugar. No protein, no nothing. Just calories and sugar. Consider that, and the fact that very few of us actually only eat 13 pieces in a sitting. It. adds. up.

It eats (pun, ha!) away at your caloric recommendation for the day. It adds nothing to your diet.

Yet, we still want it.

Can we have a little? YES, we can.

...but back to what I said earlier, it is a T-R-E-A-T.

Not a meal, not even a snack. Just a small treat.

Today I wanted a few of said Bottle Caps. I opened the box, took out 3 little pieces, and put the box away. I savored the 3 pieces, individually. I ate them slowly, enjoying their sweet, bubbly taste.

I entered my 3 Bottle Caps into myfitnesspal. 14 calories. I can totally handle 14 calories. It is the 180 or 240, or even 300 calories worth that could have sabotaged my entire day. I am happy.

I had a treat, not a binge.

14 calories for the Win!

comfort foods

I have never thought of myself as believing in or having comfort foods. Until now.

I spent the better part of Saturday evening in a tree stand and all I got from it was a nasty cold. I am snotty, achy, ill... you name it. I was driving to work this morning (yes, I am typing this before 8:00 AM and will finish on my lunch break - thank you!) and all I can think about is grabbing a McD's bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit with hashbrown and a real coke for breakfast. It sounds so yummy, I can almost taste it.

Then I realized that food will not make me feel better so I might as well skip it. What? Did I just think that?

I guess I do have my comfort foods. I must say, too, that a McD's bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit combo is at the top of the list! It has hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. (sorry for the cliche!) I have comfort foods and did not even know it.

I cannot tell you how many mornings I have gotten up and felt tired or sick and have headed strait to McD's on those days. Days that I know are going to be busy or stressful...I'm in the drivethru that morning. Mornings that I am feeling bad about myself or sorry for myself...yep, you guessed it...another bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit.

O.M.G. I have been throwing bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuits at my feelings, my illnesses, my busy days...the list goes on. Sometimes it is a Bojangles-cajun-filet-biscuit-with-seasoned-fries-morning... but let's just say that the ladies at the McDonalds window know me.

I came to work (even though my "poor-me-I'm-sick-mentality" tried to steer me towards McD's) and made myself a pack of instant grits. (Don't hate! I love instant grits, they work for me and they are 100 calories!)

Why did something like that strike me this morning? Why did I literally say out loud to myself (over and over) "food will not make your cold better, so go straight to work"? Why this time?

I do not know. I am glad, though. A little Very baffled by it, but very glad.

Did I just finally start making it to chapter 4 from this post?! If so, this is BIG.

Current Eats

Zucchini noodles with my sundried tomato Alfredo sauce.

Raspberry martini from Bonefish Grill.

Fresh cherries.

A happy little orange.

Herb salad, blue cheese, raspberry vinaigrette, and thin crust pizza.

The Swing Stopped

Looking back at my May post, I am proud to say that I have not been swinging anymore. I am trudging along with my latest Weight Watchers adventure. Even Hotty Scotty finally asked me when I was going to stop torturing my body (and him) with my constant on/off/changing dieting. Coming to the realization that my issues are affecting my family...well, it impacts me far more than many other things.

I am just as obsessive about calculating my points and planning my days out as I was years ago, but I do not think that it's a bad thing, really. I have managed to not obsess about sugar and I have not been hungry all the time like I was a couple of months ago. Why? What changed? Well, when I fill my day with healthy foods that are naturally lower in sugar and higher in fiber, I seem to be more satisfied. Duh!

If I get 42 points a day (yep, I'm that big - and they are adjusted down a few) let's examine a couple of different menu options:

Example 1

Breakfast:
Tea or Coffee w/Splenda & Stevia (0)
Splash of SF caramel creamer (1)
1 pk Quaker Instant Cheese Grits (3)
1 SF Jell-o Rice Pudding Snack (2)

Lunch:
1 Arby's Jr. Roast Beef Sandwich (5)
2 pk Arby's Sauce (3)
Chobani Lemon Greek Yogurt (4)
1/2-1 cup Celery sticks

Dinner:
2 cups organic salad greens (0)
1/4 cup reduced-fat Sargento cheese(2)
4 T Kraft Light Raspberry Vinaigrette (3)
2 t Olive Oil (2)
1/4 cup Blue Cheese (3)
3 oz Pork with 1/4 c stuffing (6)

Snacks:
1 cup cherries (0)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries (0)
1 light String Cheese (2)
8 oz FF milk (2)
1 hard sourdough pretzel (3)

This menu meets all of my healthy guidelines (fruits/veg servings, health oils, dairy, etc.) AND...it is a lot of food!

Example 2

Breakfast:
McDonald's Bacon/Egg/Cheese biscuit (11)
2 Hashbrowns (8)
Large Mocha (12)

Lunch:
Pizza (3 slices of PH Medium Hand-Tossed Pepperoni) (18)
...

If you were adding up the points, you can see that I would have already gone over by 7 and this does not include dinner or snacks. Plus no healthy guidelines have been met except for the dairy from the cheese on the pizza and maybe some in the mocha. Look how high the points (therefore, CALORIES) would have been that day if eating like that continued into the evening.

It is all about decisions. Example 1 even had some "fast food". It is possible to enjoy some stuff that you really do like once in a while (I have a weird love for Arby's roastbeef, sorry!)...it's about balancing those things and not making every meal an "out" meal.

I am down 16.2 pounds. If I had just made better choices last year, it could be soooo much more. Maybe not. I just do not know. I have really been working on my head lately. Maybe I needed to go through all of this back-and-forth mess in order to really learn some good, healthy eating habits. I am nowhere near an expert, but I am definitely trying going to learn from my own mistakes.

Some of my happy is returning. I think my BFF would vouch for that. :)

Just 'a Swingin...

Well I have successfully managed to swing back and forth between No Sugar/Low Carb and Weight Watchers...oh, about six or seven times now in the past year. I do not know what to say. The latest one has been Weight Watchers.

I have lost 11 pounds since Christmas maybe. I am not sure how accurate that is but in simpler terms, I am as fat and as miserable as ever. I need to get back to a happy place.

I am hungry all the time. Real hunger? I do not know, but that is what I will call it for now since it feels like hunger and I end up eating (read: stuffing myself) in order to make the feeling go away.

My joints hurt. My feet are really giving me a hard time right now. I crave candy. Smarties and Caramel Creams. I am like Homer Simpson. Mmmmmmmmmmm Smarties.

Sure I can talk it allllll day long...but my walk is just not happening.

I am trying to do "something" and meanwhile do my research.

Latest findings: someone on the lowcarbfriends.com discussion boards mentioned that she cannot seem to "stick with" anything. She's found that every time she tries to get "fancy" and start experimenting with those processed "low-carb" foods, she fails every time. However, as long as she sticks with lean meats, fish and veggies she does just fine. Enter lowcarb pancakes and she's a goner.

Lowcarb or not, those processed foods still trick your body... making it think that it is the real thing. Your body says "Hey... something sweet"... "I'd better produce some insulin!"...Start the cycle.

There's some unprocessed food for thought.

It was like I was reading my very own story.

Right this very moment, I have a pantry full of lowcarb pancake, bread and muffin mixes. I have lowcarb/SF syrups and lowcarb pudding mixes. Thinking back to my many attempts at cutting the sugar and carbs...every time I decide "hey, these muffins are okay because they are LC/SF"... that is usually what begins my slippery slide.

Encouragement

I mentioned in my last post (which I wrote a day or so before this one, but forgot to post until today) I mentioned I needed encouragement.

Well, I need encouragement.

Talk to me about stuff. Weight, jogging, awareness, anti-foods vs. living foods, sugar, insulin resistance, emotional eating, etc.

Sometimes, it feels very lonely trying to "go down this path". You eat out less. You do not join everyone else in eating cake at an office party. You sometimes have to choose time on the treadmill over your comfy couch or craft time. Sometimes you make the wrong choices. I do it all. the. time. I guess it is the right choices that I am trying hard to dwell on though.

I have not weighed in 3 weeks now. I know that this week's backslide (that has almost turned into 2 weeks) has caused me to gain. It's done everything else...fatigue, joint pain starting back up, hazy, foggy mind, irritable, depression. All that, and I have not even reverted completely. Only about 1/2 way bad (is that even possible? isn't bad just well, bad?). Eating wheat, a little sugar here and there, some rice, had an ice cream cone one day...etc. No candy binges or craziness...but still...it's been enough for me to lose control and not be able to cut that stuff back out. And believe me, I have contemplated some candy binges. I have literally pulled in to the parking lot of a store, on three different occasions, planning to go in and buy a whole bag of reeces cups, or snickers...and then gorge myself on them. Fortunately I have stopped myself each time. The NEED for those binges has been very powerful.

Those internal battles make me feel crazy in the head sometimes. What kind of person has to actually argue with themselves to convince them not to eat something insane.

Maybe I am actually making progress...being that I am more aware of those feelings and urges to binge...and fighting with myself to control them. However...those urges rarely happen if I stay strictly away from sugar and wheat. So why can I not just stay away from those triggers completely. You know what the trigger was that started this whole week-and-a-half hiatus? Breaded and fried shrimp. Yep. Could have had grilled shrimp and avoided this whole mess.

Sighhhh. It's an ongoing battle. Constant.

I need encouragement.

Snacky Snack

This was my afternoon snack...Just pure snacking heaven. :)

Definitely NOT an anti-food.

FYI:

Taken with a new camera app I put on my phone...called MyTubo. You can choose a cool effect for your pics that really makes them vibrant and awesome. (chosen effect - "XPro"... I love it and the "Lomo", "80s", and "Holga" the best. ) Not endorsing...I just love it. Go try it! In fact, here's the QR code if you have the barcode scanner...

CK's Seared Tuna

I have had several requests to share my simple method of cooking a beautiful tuna. This is very picture-heavy, but I wanted to take enough so you know what things should look like.  :) I even used nice dishes this time, sometimes it's paper plates around my house!

Ingredients:

Fresh Sashimi Grade Tuna
Black Sesame Seeds
Regular Sesame Seeds
Salt & Pepper
Sesame Oil & Olive Oil

Other: (for dipping)

Wasabi, prepared
Mayo
Soy Sauce

Directions:
Right before you sear your tuna, go ahead and complete these steps, as the cooking time is really no more than about 30 seconds on each side.

Mix a bit of wasabi with some mayo...

...and dice a ripe avocado for garnish.

Go ahead and have out your plates, chopsticks, soy sauce, etc. too.

OK, now on to the good stuff...

Drizzle some sesame oil and some olive oil in your pan and let it start heating up on Medium-High while you prepare your tuna. (stainless steel or a wok, I have used both)

Take a handful each of black sesame seeds and regular sesame seeds and mix them together in a dish. Add in a few grinds of fresh sea salt and cracked black pepper. Take your tuna and coat all sides in the seeds. No egg whites, no water, no nothing. Amazingly enough, the sesame seeds just stick to the fish without you having to use anything else. Really get it on there good, and on all sides as this forms a tasty "crust".

Careful place your tuna into the hot pan/wok. The seeds will jump out and they burn. Consider yourself warned.

Sear the tuna.

That's it.

I sear mine on all sides for no more than 30 seconds. We like our tuna very rare/raw on the inside. (see my pictures)

Sear yours until desired doneness is achieved.

(Please, please do not overcook and ruin it!)

Slice seared tuna and plate up. See how the tuna is seared all the way

around? I take my tongs and hold pieces up in the pan so that the edges

have a chance to sear too. A little extra work, but it ensures a nice crust.

Add avocado garnish and soy sauce on the sides.

Do not forget your wasabi mayo.

Now, enjoy!

I hope you find the time to make this absolutely tasty dish very soon.