St. John's Wort

I really do not know where to start with this post, but I definitely want to put it out there. Perhaps the Christinipedia version will work. :) I will keep it short.

What is St. John's Wort?
Definition: a flowering perennial plant species of the genus Hypericum and a medicinal herb that is sold over-the-counter as a treatment for depression.

Aliases: Hypericum perforatum, Tipton's weed, goatweed, chase-devil (my personal favorite), or Klamath weed

Known species: 370 of the genus Hypericum

Typical Dosage: 300mg 3 times a day

What does it look like?

St. John's Wort shrub

Quite beautiful flowers

Bottle of SJW

Capsule form

Side Effects?
I have read that side effects can include light/sun-sensitivity, dry mouth, stomach irritations and dizziness. I have experienced none of these myself. There was one particular brand I tried in the past that I swear gave me horrible headaches...

Keep in mind, you can always google this stuff for yourself. (I wonder if anyone has ever googled themselves to death...)

Here are my personal thoughts...
This stuff works. It's amazing. If I miss a day or two of taking it, I can tell a very noticeable difference in my attitude, feelings, and general state-of-mind. So can my family and friends. (Sorry y'all!) It keeps my depression at bay. For real. For. Real.

I only take one 300mg capsule a day, around lunchtime. It's enough for me. I always believe you should just take enough of this stuff to be effective. My doctor knows I take it and is fine with it. She agrees that it is a known anti-depression supplement and believes in the use of SJW. She always reminds me that there are prescription drugs out there that "will do the same thing" though. Ugh!

I encourage anyone out there to explore the possibilities of SJW for mild depression. Always consult with your doctor of course, cause y'all know I'm just blogging about myself and what works for me. :)

Another easy quick fix that I have found is Badger Balm's Cheerful Mind Balm. It "uplifts the mind". I found mine at Earthfare and I keep it in my purse. This stuff is great and Brandy loves to take a whiff too! Portable, happy aromatherapy at its best! Sweet orange, lemon, spearmint and ylang ylang coming right at cha!

Also comes in stick form. *Sniff*

Smile!

Tomatoes and blogging for lunch

Guess what's for luuunch...

You know it! Mater sandwich!!!

I will not mislead you. I have not been eating this fresh and this healthy 100% of the time. You can look at me and tell that. However, let's all rejoice at the beautiful lunch I packed today...

✿ Kinley tomato
✿ Light Honey Wheat Bread
✿ Sugar Snap Peas
✿ Grapes
✿ Miracle Whip Light*

Seriously, let's have a moment of silence for this glorious sandwich.
...
That tomato was juicy and everything that a cardboard-grocery-store-tomato wishes it could be. My father-in-love shares his garden bounty with us and I love it!

Yeah, I'm getting to that mayo situation in a minute. I just thought that the sandwich needed a moment all to itself.

(It's gone now, btw. In. My. Tummy.)

OK, so back to the business at hand. I know it is a cardinal sin to use anything other than Duke's on a tomato sandwich, but let's face it, at 100 calories per tablespoon, I just can't. Lately, I really cannot justify Duke's Light at 50 calories per tablespoon either. Why? Because I like a LOT of  "mayo" on my mater sandwich dang it!

Enter: Miracle Whip Light

Ugg.

I know.

I am managing though. It's not so bad. For a first-timer, I was pleasantly surprised. Plus, I can have 2 big ol' tablespoons for 20 calories each. That definitely makes MyFitnessPal happy... In order to maybe, possibly, eventually meet our goals, we have to make adjustments. Sacrifices if you will. This is a small one. The sandwich was great. It was a juicy, local, family-grown tomato for Pete's sake. The tomato makes the sandwich. The mayo Miracle Whip is really just an assistant stagehand background singer (fill in something here). I don't know what to call it because all the other words are very important positions! Anyways, let me not turn this into another tangent, you get my point. That Kinley tomato was the star!

And none was left behind. Here I am eating the "butt" of the tomato. :)

Medicine and Supplements

Occasionally I get asked what medicines/supplements I take for my PCOS, so I thought this would make a good post. Interesting, maybe not for non-PCOSers, but informative none-the-less.

Before I start rattling off a list of drugs, I would like to point out that I have now had about 18 regular menstrual cycles in a row. Yep, you read that right, 18 months of periods! I guess regular is not a good word...they are not like exactly 28 days apart or anything, but wow. Never. Never in my life have I been this regular steady. I've talked about my absence of periods here, and with my history of few to none, I am most definitely happy to be having them now. I contribute my regularness (new word! yeah!) to my combination of meds and supplements.

Now, we all know I am certainly not Dr. Christina by any means. I only know what works for me and my body. I'm not handing out medical advice here ya'll...

Prescription Medicines:

• Metformin (1000 mg twice a day)
• Aldomet (1000 mg twice a day)

Supplements/Vitamins:

• Vitamin B Complex (1 caplet in the AM)  (find it here)
• Vitamin C with Wild Rose Hips  (500 mg in the AM)  (find it here)
• Vitamin D3 (1000 IU in the AM)  (find it here)
• St. John's Wort (300 mg at Noon)  (find it here)
• Potassium Gluconate (550 mg every other PM)  (find it here)

(Here is a whole separate post about St. John's Wort and how it absolutely manages my depression.)

Questions you may be dying to ask:
Do I use one of those little pill boxes? Yep!
Do I feel like a little old lady? Yep!
Does my husband occasionally poke fun at me for it? Yep!
Do I sit down every Sunday morning and divvy out my pills? Yep!
Does he call me a pharmacist? Yep!
Do I look like a pharmacist counting out my little pills and putting them in to the right sections? Yep!
What does your pill box look like? Keep reading...

My pill box looks like this one. I got it at the Dollar Tree for, you guessed it, $1. The text has almost rubbed completely off of mine, but I use a sharpie and re-do it on occasion.

I also learned the hard way that if you bend the little lids back too far, they will snap right off, leaving you with no other choice but to go spend another dollar!

So why these specific vitamins?

Keep reading, I addressed each one below. I kept it simple. I have done my research (online, discussions with my doctors, personal preference, trying different supplement combinations) and so can you. My "reasons" below are my personal reasons and definitely not the only things these vitamins can do for our bodies. I just listed the ones that really stick out for me. If you want more information, I encourage you to do your research. There is plenty out there, so I am not going post it all here. This post could go on for days! Just make sure your sources are reliable.

Vitamin B Complex (1 caplet in the AM)
Energy, supplement possible deficiency

Vitamin C with Wild Rose Hips  (500 mg in the AM)
Immune support, fight free-radicals, much more

Vitamin D3 (1000 IU in the AM)
Depression, seasonal disorder, immune, strong bones & teeth

St. John's Wort (300 mg at Noon)
Depression.

Potassium Gluconate (550 mg every other PM)
Heart, nervous system


What brand of vitamins do I use? Puritan's Pride. They are SO affordable and work well for me. (exception: Potassium Gluconate is from Walgreen's...) I actually linked you right to the ones I use in the first med list above. You're welcome!

Their bottles are beautiful translucent colors too, with flip-top caps. It never hurts to have a little color :) I also buy coconut oil, Scott's vitamins, and other things from them. They do B1G2 and B2G3 sales a lot. Totally awesome!

I'm not going.

Just a little (but dead serious where I'm concerned) humor for this evening...

I rock.

I hoard things. Awesome things, like Martha Stewart glitter and craft supplies, buttons, trolls, Lisa Frank goodies, dream catchers and vintage stickers. I am running out of wall space because I meet and fall in love with so many prints, canvases and artsy pieces. I guess you could say my walls and Christmas trees runneth over.

I do not like my feet touching the bare floor. It makes my feet feel dirty. Carpet is ok. But if my feet touch the hardwood floor at home, I will go wash them.

I like symmetry and evenness, but not in the traditional hang-art-on-the-walls way. It is more of a physical thing... If I tap my left foot, I feel the need to tap my right one. Then almost always, I tap both feet to the left, then to the right, then to the front and the back. Then I do the diagonal directions. Imagine your head as a compass. Lean your head North (forward), then South, (backwards). Then lean it to the West (left), then the East (right).

If I eat something small, like M&Ms for example, I eat even numbers of them. One at a time is ok, but not three or five at a time. It has to be two, four or six. Even.

I count a lot. I see a bridge up ahead when going down the highway... I will tell myself that I have to be under that bridge within 30 seconds or whatever. Then I start counting. It is ok it I do not make it within the specified 30 seconds, but I feel defeated. I don't speed up to make the 30-second mark, I just estimate. Then if my estimation is wrong, I guess that's where the defeated feeling comes from. I also count how long it takes me drive from block to block, etc. I sometimes count steps. (Of course my Fitbit does that for me now!)

Often, I will write out words with my fingers. If a word "sticks out to me" I may trace/write it on my leg with my finger. If it is not perfect, I will do it again and again. But if I write it an even amount of times, I will do it once more to make it odd. (An exception to my love for symmetry and evenness.) That way each "nonperfect" one has a perfect to cancel it out, and there is one extra perfect one that "counts" as the real and good one. But hey, my penmanship is pretty decent.

I hate metal silverware. I will use it, but I highly prefer plastic forks and spoons. I guess I benefit more than one way with this... less dishes to wash!

I get obsessive and bingey (is that a word? It is now!) with material things. If I love something, it is hard to have just one. Maybe it is a great nail polish. I want all the colors! Vintage treasure trolls at the flea market? Gotta have them all. I can't leave any behind! I counter some of this with an Etsy shop. Share the vintage love, I suppose. (No, that was not a shameless plug for my shop. But I am not deleting it. The intention is to let you, the reader, know that my house does not belong on an episode of Hoarders. I watch that show.)

I do not sleep under sheets and regular bedding. Yes, I make our beds the traditional way, fitted sheet then regular sheet, and quilt on top... but I sleep on top of the quilt and cover up with a different, lighter quilt. NOT at hotels though. That is a whole 'nother ball game there. It could be a separate post. *Shiver*

     Oh, I could go on and on.

I'm saying this to make a point, I promise. I have some OCD tendencies. I sometimes think they are crazy. I even wonder if I'm viewed as the weird girl on occasion. I bet, however, you didn't even know most of the things I said above to be true about me. I am just me. And that is so cool. I'm serious. It has taken years (and a little bit of how Sheldon Cooper's antics are glorified on the Big Bang Theory) to understand that I am just me. I am pretty sure no one has really ever sat around and discussed how "weird" Christina is.

We are our own worst enemies folks. It is a shame that it has taken me so many years to start understanding this.

I am organized, creative, smart and understanding. Nothing listed above changes that. If anything, it adds to it. I rock.

As humans, we are all different and made up of so many experiences, quirks, life lessons, and more.

And we rock.

Getting old

I guess it happens to the best of us. We get old. It is happening every second we are on this earth.

Today, for some reason, as I was swiping on layers of mascara in front of the bathroom mirror, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks I might add. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I'm getting old."

Ok, truthfully, it was more like "Damn...(long pause), when did this happen? I'm aging. I can't stop it. I look ok...I guess, but it is certainly not the 15 year old Christina looking back at me in this mirror. Oh my gosh, when the CRAP did this happen? My baby is going to be five years old in November. I've been married for 9 years this August. And my. back. hurts. I really didn't want to get up this morning. My body was protesting. I need to lose weight. Nothing new there. I really like this mascara, it looks like I have eyes now. Old eyes. Crap, don't cry! Your mascara looks too good. Why are my eyebrows so sparse? I tweezed them within an inch of their lives in my 20s, now they just don't grow. My 20s. God, that was like 10 years ago. How old am I? 34. No, not yet, only 33. I'm going to be drawing on my eyebrows in a few years. This was NOT what I sat in front of the mirror and thought about when I was 20. What was I thinking about? Probably bushy eyebrows. Or how I didn't need sunscreen or even moisturizer for that fact. Why don't we listen to our mommas? Man, Brandy is not going to listen to me either. Seriously, when did this happen?"

Yeah, for real.

I'm glad I was not 15 or even 25 and thinking about how I would feel in my 30s. You should not live your life dreading the years ahead. (And I nearly lost it this morning when Scott pointed out how we will feel in another 20 years. Thanks for that honey.)

Here's the thing, I suppose...this getting "old" thing has happened while I have been busy raising my sweet B, loving my husband, making fun crafty stuff, enjoying my job, and generally living life. It's not all great stuff. I've fought a losing battle with my weight, I've had some heartache, and I have shed many tears over things that may or may not have been worth it. I have been living life. That's how age sneaks up on you. I'm convinced of that. It's true, what they say, you know...time flies when you are having fun.

I wish I could say that I am hunky-dory with this, but I'd be lying. I hate it. But at the same time, I would not trade it for anything in the world. There's another one of those "see both sides of the the situation" examples for you. Do not just smile and nod though, most days I feel like it is a curse to see all sides.

I haven't blogged in a while. I regret it too. I feel I like this is a good outlet for me, even if no one reads it. On the other hand, I can honestly say I have spent more time than ever with my family and friends. That makes me happy. And quite possibly able to handle this getting older thing.

Own it.

I want to elaborate on my compliment comment...

I am the queen of turning a compliment into something else completely. Try me. If you are around me enough, then you know from experience that I can turn just about any compliment into a complaint about my weight.

I heard one time that Southern women, especially, had a hard time accepting a compliment. We take an "I like your dress" or "that dress looks nice on you" and immediately fire back a half frown and something like "well it makes me look washed out" or "my arms look so fat in it". We do it so easily and so naturally that half the time no one even notices. It's usually set up nicely with a "thanks, but...(fill in complaint here)."

Why can't we just say "thanks"?

Even when we think we are just saying "thanks", we are still saying something like "Thanks. Ugh, I paid way too much for it." Or "Thanks, but I like your dress better." That is *still* slashing the value of said compliment.

Dang it.

Own it. Take the compliment and let it be. We need to stop cutting ourselves down; stop analyzing and essentially undoing every compliment that we receive. We are all awesome.

Now, seriously, let's own it. 

awkward

Compliments are awkward for me.



But keep them coming.



That is all. Thank you. :)

Making an Exception

Read this post.

Now, I will tell you about how I recently made an exception.

(Scott was not with me and that does not make it his fault, but I definitely see the "strength in numbers" deal again.)

I ate a pastry. It was from Something Different in A-town. It was pretty freaking amazing too.

I told myself it was okay. We were eyeball-deep in work stuffs and I thought I "deserved" it. I guess one good-but-bad thing was, that I was totally aware of what I was doing. It was not mindless or automatic. I felt myself make the choice to eat the pastry. I was aware. So, that part was pretty cool, looking back.

Ugh. Live and learn. Trying to change.

**I had such bad stomach issues that night, along with an eczema flare up that I guess I really did get what I "deserved".**

Change

When you are ready to change, you really change.
No matter what.

My awesome mother-in-love (Gma) means well. She always does. Scott and I picked up the tiniest cake ever known to mankind and took Brandy to see her Gpa on his birthday. Gma proceeded to slice the cake and kept pushing offering it to me and Scott.

     We kept saying no.

Then she said "There are always exceptions."

We stuck to it and refused. (WOW! There is definitely strength in numbers, as I have discovered while having Scott eat the same as me!)

There was no exception. We made no exception.

It was awesome.

Simplified.

Zipline.

Brandy.

Fair Rides.

Kayak.

Belk.

TWC.

Cryptic messages? Nah. Just some main reasons, simplified. Memorable. On post-its everywhere.

Costco.

We are officially hooked and in love. lol

Today's purchases:
Raspberries
Blueberries
Strawberries
Broccoli
Salad mix
Red Peppers
Greek Yogurts
Chicken Sausages
Avocados
String Cheese

Oh yeah. That's my kind of list :)

Granted, I would much rather hit up the farmer's market...I am still very happy with our trip today.

Commitment

I saw this somewhere on myfitnesspal.com and thought it was pure genius. I have it on sticky notes everywhere now. This resonates with me.



     Forget Motivation.

     Motivation is "wanting to do something."

     That's fleeting.

     Choose to be Committed instead.

     Commitment means doing it whether you *want* to or not.



Apparently, for me, these are words to live by.

#beautiful

Not.

I like the beat of #beautiful by Mariah Carey/Miguel. It's a good 2.8 mph beat on the treadmill.

However, tonight, I, once again had to remind myself that crying and the treadmill is not a good combination. Add in trying to explain to your hubby and 3+year-old why you are crying. :(

            I just feel so frumpy.

                   And I hate it.

I cannot explain it that well. I just do not feel pretty. It sounds so whiny. So "poor-me". So I hate that too.

I have been getting my hair done. Regularly. Yep, me! I found a girl I really like that does it and does a great job. So I keep going back. It makes me feel good. I have been buying clothes that I like. I wear my fun, funky jewelry and my awesome Toms, etc. On most days, I even text my pic to my BFF. Heck, I am even eating right. Something has to give and unfortunately, I know that it is my MIND that needs the adjustment.

My mind. The hardest dang part of me.

I have decided that I am never going to be thin. I might be healthier, and that is freaking *fantastic!* but... knowing that this frumpy body will be the only body I ever have, that is pretty devastating at times. The fact that I am starting to accept that piece of it, well, double the devastation.


Mind. Body. Mind. Body. Mind. Body.

Neither is a quick or easy fix. I just have to keep at both of them.


#beautifulinsidebutwantittoshowontheoutsidetoo

Partner

I really really really wish that I could blog telepathically. Lord knows all the topics, situations and thoughts that go through my head that I want to blog about, unfortunately I am usually either driving or simply living life. (Neither are bad, they just seem to keep me away from writing...even when I really want to or, like lately, need to.)

I guess I should update you on which diet I am on right now. That is kind of a joke, but it very well may be what you are wondering...

I am on no sugar and very little carbs.

Surprise.

This time, however, I have a partner in crime. My best partner. My favorite partner. My Hotty Scotty is in this with me. Are you shocked yet? Well, long story short, he has been diagnosed with an over-growth of yeast in his stomach (that also affects his face... some of you might have noticed the red splotches at times over the years). Lots of research and doctors have said that sugar is the enemy. It feeds the yeast, and makes it worse. So, my Hotty Scotty decided he would cut out sugar. That simple. For him. He dropped sugar and most carbs like it was nothing. For about two weeks I hated him for it. Not hated...more like resented him. If you have read any of my previous ramblings, then you know that cutting out sugar/carbs is extremely hard on me at first. Headaches, anger, cravings, foggy mind, weak, shakes, wanting-to-punch-people-in-the-face, etc. It is pure withdrawal, like an addict.

But I did it anyway. I hopped on his bandwagon.

          (after i apologized in advance for my sure-to-come symptoms)

I also had a long talk to him about how he has to stick with this long term because, quite frankly, I have dreamed about the day that my husband would be eating the same way as me. The day that we would no longer have a house full of CRAP that I did not need, but somehow wanted. The day that fish or chicken served with a salad or veggies and a few berries would be OK. The day that I would sit on the couch next to him and we would share some almonds. The day that I would not have to watch him plow through a box of oatmeal cream pies and not seem to gain an ounce.

Just to reiterate, I am still in awe that he could drop the junk that easily. That shows what a huge difference there is in our bodies. Just watch. HE will probably be the one to drop pounds. Ugh. As long as I am healthy, I guess. I am still tracking my calories, etc. in MyFitnessPal.com I still LOVE it. Love it. You could very easily overeat/overindulge on nuts, cheese, etc. so that keeps me in check.