I rock.

I hoard things. Awesome things, like Martha Stewart glitter and craft supplies, buttons, trolls, Lisa Frank goodies, dream catchers and vintage stickers. I am running out of wall space because I meet and fall in love with so many prints, canvases and artsy pieces. I guess you could say my walls and Christmas trees runneth over.

I do not like my feet touching the bare floor. It makes my feet feel dirty. Carpet is ok. But if my feet touch the hardwood floor at home, I will go wash them.

I like symmetry and evenness, but not in the traditional hang-art-on-the-walls way. It is more of a physical thing... If I tap my left foot, I feel the need to tap my right one. Then almost always, I tap both feet to the left, then to the right, then to the front and the back. Then I do the diagonal directions. Imagine your head as a compass. Lean your head North (forward), then South, (backwards). Then lean it to the West (left), then the East (right).

If I eat something small, like M&Ms for example, I eat even numbers of them. One at a time is ok, but not three or five at a time. It has to be two, four or six. Even.

I count a lot. I see a bridge up ahead when going down the highway... I will tell myself that I have to be under that bridge within 30 seconds or whatever. Then I start counting. It is ok it I do not make it within the specified 30 seconds, but I feel defeated. I don't speed up to make the 30-second mark, I just estimate. Then if my estimation is wrong, I guess that's where the defeated feeling comes from. I also count how long it takes me drive from block to block, etc. I sometimes count steps. (Of course my Fitbit does that for me now!)

Often, I will write out words with my fingers. If a word "sticks out to me" I may trace/write it on my leg with my finger. If it is not perfect, I will do it again and again. But if I write it an even amount of times, I will do it once more to make it odd. (An exception to my love for symmetry and evenness.) That way each "nonperfect" one has a perfect to cancel it out, and there is one extra perfect one that "counts" as the real and good one. But hey, my penmanship is pretty decent.

I hate metal silverware. I will use it, but I highly prefer plastic forks and spoons. I guess I benefit more than one way with this... less dishes to wash!

I get obsessive and bingey (is that a word? It is now!) with material things. If I love something, it is hard to have just one. Maybe it is a great nail polish. I want all the colors! Vintage treasure trolls at the flea market? Gotta have them all. I can't leave any behind! I counter some of this with an Etsy shop. Share the vintage love, I suppose. (No, that was not a shameless plug for my shop. But I am not deleting it. The intention is to let you, the reader, know that my house does not belong on an episode of Hoarders. I watch that show.)

I do not sleep under sheets and regular bedding. Yes, I make our beds the traditional way, fitted sheet then regular sheet, and quilt on top... but I sleep on top of the quilt and cover up with a different, lighter quilt. NOT at hotels though. That is a whole 'nother ball game there. It could be a separate post. *Shiver*

     Oh, I could go on and on.

I'm saying this to make a point, I promise. I have some OCD tendencies. I sometimes think they are crazy. I even wonder if I'm viewed as the weird girl on occasion. I bet, however, you didn't even know most of the things I said above to be true about me. I am just me. And that is so cool. I'm serious. It has taken years (and a little bit of how Sheldon Cooper's antics are glorified on the Big Bang Theory) to understand that I am just me. I am pretty sure no one has really ever sat around and discussed how "weird" Christina is.

We are our own worst enemies folks. It is a shame that it has taken me so many years to start understanding this.

I am organized, creative, smart and understanding. Nothing listed above changes that. If anything, it adds to it. I rock.

As humans, we are all different and made up of so many experiences, quirks, life lessons, and more.

And we rock.

Getting old

I guess it happens to the best of us. We get old. It is happening every second we are on this earth.

Today, for some reason, as I was swiping on layers of mascara in front of the bathroom mirror, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks I might add. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I'm getting old."

Ok, truthfully, it was more like "Damn...(long pause), when did this happen? I'm aging. I can't stop it. I look ok...I guess, but it is certainly not the 15 year old Christina looking back at me in this mirror. Oh my gosh, when the CRAP did this happen? My baby is going to be five years old in November. I've been married for 9 years this August. And my. back. hurts. I really didn't want to get up this morning. My body was protesting. I need to lose weight. Nothing new there. I really like this mascara, it looks like I have eyes now. Old eyes. Crap, don't cry! Your mascara looks too good. Why are my eyebrows so sparse? I tweezed them within an inch of their lives in my 20s, now they just don't grow. My 20s. God, that was like 10 years ago. How old am I? 34. No, not yet, only 33. I'm going to be drawing on my eyebrows in a few years. This was NOT what I sat in front of the mirror and thought about when I was 20. What was I thinking about? Probably bushy eyebrows. Or how I didn't need sunscreen or even moisturizer for that fact. Why don't we listen to our mommas? Man, Brandy is not going to listen to me either. Seriously, when did this happen?"

Yeah, for real.

I'm glad I was not 15 or even 25 and thinking about how I would feel in my 30s. You should not live your life dreading the years ahead. (And I nearly lost it this morning when Scott pointed out how we will feel in another 20 years. Thanks for that honey.)

Here's the thing, I suppose...this getting "old" thing has happened while I have been busy raising my sweet B, loving my husband, making fun crafty stuff, enjoying my job, and generally living life. It's not all great stuff. I've fought a losing battle with my weight, I've had some heartache, and I have shed many tears over things that may or may not have been worth it. I have been living life. That's how age sneaks up on you. I'm convinced of that. It's true, what they say, you know...time flies when you are having fun.

I wish I could say that I am hunky-dory with this, but I'd be lying. I hate it. But at the same time, I would not trade it for anything in the world. There's another one of those "see both sides of the the situation" examples for you. Do not just smile and nod though, most days I feel like it is a curse to see all sides.

I haven't blogged in a while. I regret it too. I feel I like this is a good outlet for me, even if no one reads it. On the other hand, I can honestly say I have spent more time than ever with my family and friends. That makes me happy. And quite possibly able to handle this getting older thing.

Own it.

I want to elaborate on my compliment comment...

I am the queen of turning a compliment into something else completely. Try me. If you are around me enough, then you know from experience that I can turn just about any compliment into a complaint about my weight.

I heard one time that Southern women, especially, had a hard time accepting a compliment. We take an "I like your dress" or "that dress looks nice on you" and immediately fire back a half frown and something like "well it makes me look washed out" or "my arms look so fat in it". We do it so easily and so naturally that half the time no one even notices. It's usually set up nicely with a "thanks, but...(fill in complaint here)."

Why can't we just say "thanks"?

Even when we think we are just saying "thanks", we are still saying something like "Thanks. Ugh, I paid way too much for it." Or "Thanks, but I like your dress better." That is *still* slashing the value of said compliment.

Dang it.

Own it. Take the compliment and let it be. We need to stop cutting ourselves down; stop analyzing and essentially undoing every compliment that we receive. We are all awesome.

Now, seriously, let's own it. 

awkward

Compliments are awkward for me.



But keep them coming.



That is all. Thank you. :)

Making an Exception

Read this post.

Now, I will tell you about how I recently made an exception.

(Scott was not with me and that does not make it his fault, but I definitely see the "strength in numbers" deal again.)

I ate a pastry. It was from Something Different in A-town. It was pretty freaking amazing too.

I told myself it was okay. We were eyeball-deep in work stuffs and I thought I "deserved" it. I guess one good-but-bad thing was, that I was totally aware of what I was doing. It was not mindless or automatic. I felt myself make the choice to eat the pastry. I was aware. So, that part was pretty cool, looking back.

Ugh. Live and learn. Trying to change.

**I had such bad stomach issues that night, along with an eczema flare up that I guess I really did get what I "deserved".**

Change

When you are ready to change, you really change.
No matter what.

My awesome mother-in-love (Gma) means well. She always does. Scott and I picked up the tiniest cake ever known to mankind and took Brandy to see her Gpa on his birthday. Gma proceeded to slice the cake and kept pushing offering it to me and Scott.

     We kept saying no.

Then she said "There are always exceptions."

We stuck to it and refused. (WOW! There is definitely strength in numbers, as I have discovered while having Scott eat the same as me!)

There was no exception. We made no exception.

It was awesome.

Simplified.

Zipline.

Brandy.

Fair Rides.

Kayak.

Belk.

TWC.

Cryptic messages? Nah. Just some main reasons, simplified. Memorable. On post-its everywhere.

Costco.

We are officially hooked and in love. lol

Today's purchases:
Raspberries
Blueberries
Strawberries
Broccoli
Salad mix
Red Peppers
Greek Yogurts
Chicken Sausages
Avocados
String Cheese

Oh yeah. That's my kind of list :)

Granted, I would much rather hit up the farmer's market...I am still very happy with our trip today.

Commitment

I saw this somewhere on myfitnesspal.com and thought it was pure genius. I have it on sticky notes everywhere now. This resonates with me.



     Forget Motivation.

     Motivation is "wanting to do something."

     That's fleeting.

     Choose to be Committed instead.

     Commitment means doing it whether you *want* to or not.



Apparently, for me, these are words to live by.

#beautiful

Not.

I like the beat of #beautiful by Mariah Carey/Miguel. It's a good 2.8 mph beat on the treadmill.

However, tonight, I, once again had to remind myself that crying and the treadmill is not a good combination. Add in trying to explain to your hubby and 3+year-old why you are crying. :(

            I just feel so frumpy.

                   And I hate it.

I cannot explain it that well. I just do not feel pretty. It sounds so whiny. So "poor-me". So I hate that too.

I have been getting my hair done. Regularly. Yep, me! I found a girl I really like that does it and does a great job. So I keep going back. It makes me feel good. I have been buying clothes that I like. I wear my fun, funky jewelry and my awesome Toms, etc. On most days, I even text my pic to my BFF. Heck, I am even eating right. Something has to give and unfortunately, I know that it is my MIND that needs the adjustment.

My mind. The hardest dang part of me.

I have decided that I am never going to be thin. I might be healthier, and that is freaking *fantastic!* but... knowing that this frumpy body will be the only body I ever have, that is pretty devastating at times. The fact that I am starting to accept that piece of it, well, double the devastation.


Mind. Body. Mind. Body. Mind. Body.

Neither is a quick or easy fix. I just have to keep at both of them.


#beautifulinsidebutwantittoshowontheoutsidetoo

Partner

I really really really wish that I could blog telepathically. Lord knows all the topics, situations and thoughts that go through my head that I want to blog about, unfortunately I am usually either driving or simply living life. (Neither are bad, they just seem to keep me away from writing...even when I really want to or, like lately, need to.)

I guess I should update you on which diet I am on right now. That is kind of a joke, but it very well may be what you are wondering...

I am on no sugar and very little carbs.

Surprise.

This time, however, I have a partner in crime. My best partner. My favorite partner. My Hotty Scotty is in this with me. Are you shocked yet? Well, long story short, he has been diagnosed with an over-growth of yeast in his stomach (that also affects his face... some of you might have noticed the red splotches at times over the years). Lots of research and doctors have said that sugar is the enemy. It feeds the yeast, and makes it worse. So, my Hotty Scotty decided he would cut out sugar. That simple. For him. He dropped sugar and most carbs like it was nothing. For about two weeks I hated him for it. Not hated...more like resented him. If you have read any of my previous ramblings, then you know that cutting out sugar/carbs is extremely hard on me at first. Headaches, anger, cravings, foggy mind, weak, shakes, wanting-to-punch-people-in-the-face, etc. It is pure withdrawal, like an addict.

But I did it anyway. I hopped on his bandwagon.

          (after i apologized in advance for my sure-to-come symptoms)

I also had a long talk to him about how he has to stick with this long term because, quite frankly, I have dreamed about the day that my husband would be eating the same way as me. The day that we would no longer have a house full of CRAP that I did not need, but somehow wanted. The day that fish or chicken served with a salad or veggies and a few berries would be OK. The day that I would sit on the couch next to him and we would share some almonds. The day that I would not have to watch him plow through a box of oatmeal cream pies and not seem to gain an ounce.

Just to reiterate, I am still in awe that he could drop the junk that easily. That shows what a huge difference there is in our bodies. Just watch. HE will probably be the one to drop pounds. Ugh. As long as I am healthy, I guess. I am still tracking my calories, etc. in MyFitnessPal.com I still LOVE it. Love it. You could very easily overeat/overindulge on nuts, cheese, etc. so that keeps me in check.

Stepping Out

Background: I have been itching (probably not the best word to use there, ha!) to get outdoors. I do not/have not ever considered myself an outdoorsy person. I guess, too, I have just never realized how easy it is to find a trail and go with it. After much consideration and a bit of convincing Hotty Scotty that I am serious about it (not to mention, picking a few well-versed-outdoorsy brains), we decided on the Bicentennial Greenway to begin. We wanted to take B and her stroller, so this paved trail was a great place to start.

This post is a (picture heavy) account of our first outdoor adventure! Enjoy.

When: April 14, 2013
Where: Bicentennial Greenway
     Starting at the Piedmont Environmental Center on Penny Rd., High Point, NC to East Fork Rd and back.
Miles Traveled: 2.83
Temperature: 77-80`F

Just follow me... and the signs...

Here is the Piedmont Environmental Center building:

The first two things you see on this trail are a great teepee and a small greenhouse. This is before you even get 25 yards into it.

      

As we  followed the path on into the green and away from Penny Road which runs along the first part of this section, we looked up...and we were under beautiful canopies of dogwoods and other flowering trees.   

Stunning. I always say, "No matter where you are, do not forget to look up."

We got to the half mile marker and came across what we dubbed the *love* tree. (real original, I know) Lots of folks have carved their initials into the trunk of this tree.

  

Looking to the left, we saw an unpaved section of trail. "No Bikes" was clearly marked. We stayed on the pavement, and on our feet. :)

More pretties along the way. The sides of the trail were sprinkled in tiny violets. These always remind me of my Mimi.

We came along the first couple of benches as we approached the 3/4 and 1 mile markers. One bench had a shelter that was a boy scout project.

We were greeted by a great set of steps... (the shot on down below, coming back is a good one...) The steps are even equipped with a bike groove.

As we got to the bottom of the steps and over a small bridge, we were seeing bits and pieces of High Point City Lake. How beautiful to look out to our right and see the sparkling water.

                                                   

Three logs a' laying. :)

This shot is at the bottom of the steps and over the bridge. I was a few yards ahead and looking back at Scott and B.

With the lake still on our right, we continued our quiet walk down the path and we started hearing small splashes of water. We looked over and the turtles that were sunning on the logs were plopping back into the water. *plop*...*splash*...*plop*...B was thrilled to see and hear this! A little further down the path was another "foot path" that led right to the lake shore. A fallen log made for a perfect place to sit a spell.

    

                 

One of several bridges along the Bicentennial Greenway...

Up ahead, a sign warned cyclists to dismount their bikes. This peaked my curiosity  especially when I saw a stop sign and a fence that you had to navigate through. Why?

It was a HUGE hill! Straight down! When we came back through, we saw one brave guy, on a bike, slip right through the offset fence and zoom down the hill - and it looked sooooo fun! I almost wished he had hollered "wheeeeeee!".

See how the fence is offset? Meant to be a deterrent, I am sure, but obviously not for everyone. :)

 

Have mercy. Pollen anyone? At the bottom of the steep hill was another bridge and the pollen was just swirling in the shallow water below.

Shortly after the hill and bridge, we hit the 1 1/4 mile marker.

Around the next bend, the road was very bumpy and rough. This is proof that if we (the human race) were to cease to exist, Mother Earth would heal herself. The tree roots are trying to take over this section of the trail.

Finally, we have reached our turn around point. East Fork Road is the first major intersection of the Greenway after leaving the Piedmont Environmental Center. If you continue on the trail, you will eventually end up on Wendover Avenue in Greensboro! This was definitely not the best shot of me...no makeup, frumpy-but-oh-so-comfy clothes and no tan, but...we were excited to snap a shot of this accomplishment.

Alright, so by now, we have turned around and started back. The lake is now on our left. Here is another good shot of the tree roots taking over the pavement.

Honestly, since I am a total beginner, I have no idea what these types of trail markers mean. I intend to find out though!

This beauty fluttered by us before landing on a tree in full bloom.

Back to the bridge and just before the steep hill! B was enjoying getting a lift from the stroller at this point. She walked a big part of the trail. The birds, geese, butterflies, turtles and flowers kept her interested.

More pollen. Achoooooo!

Here it is! The steep hill. We knew going back up would not be fun. It was a workout! Scott jogged up and pushed the stroller. I took a different approach, I leaned into it and kept a steady, albeit slow pace. You can see the offset fence at the upper left of the picture.

Along the way, you will see chain link fence at various points. I am not sure how long it has been here, but I would imagine it has been quite a while. You can see how this tree grew through the fence. The bark has consumed bits of the metal fence.

A great shot of the lake and the Greenway trail.

This tree has been eaten up by something. Termites? Shotgun? No clue here, but the texture was pretty neat.

Coming back, we came upon a sign warning us of the steps ahead. B decided it was time to get back on her feet.

Super cool tree.

 Here is that great shot of the bridge, and then the steps that I promised you.
(it was harder now than it was coming down...)

(beautiful though, right?!)

Back at the top of the stairs, AND after carrying the stroller to the top...Hotty Scotty.

The love tree. <3

Another trail marker.

My well-worked feet :)      

Almost back where we started and still all smiles. It was starting to feel hot though and our legs were heavy.

We took up the offer from one of the benches...took a 10 minute break, drank some water, and then finished our walk.

                            B was still enjoying herself. And a fruit cup.

There's a fungus among us...

One of a handful of lightposts at the beginning of the trail.

Back where we started, there is the teepee.

A view of the parking lot as we finish our trek.

By the end, I was pretty red in the face and very hot and actually a bit sweaty, but ready to plan another adventure.

 

I will leave you with a couple of beautiful dogwood shots. These are two of my favorites from our walk. I hope you enjoyed following us on our first outdoor adventure.